Everything Sucks

My sewing room garbage can is stuffed. I put in there the muslins and pattern pieces from the Burda trousers 127 from the December 2017 issue. The fit just looks awful, no matter what I do. I will spare your eyeballs the ugly pictures from my third muslin attempt. It was a serious shitshow. The idea to do a “full thigh adjustment” did not work. Excess fabric pooches out in the thighs and just looks absurd. So yeah, I learned that lesson.

Also in the bin is my skirt from New Look 6326. This had two problems – dodgy fabric and a backside fit that just baffled me. The waist was enormous but when I put in another set of darts in the back, I got this bizarre pleating effect. Could I fix it? Maybe. But fuck it. I don’t even want the skirt anymore. It’s made of wool crepe and it’s already mid-February.

Basically, I struggle mightily to fit the bottom half of my body. I can make tops and jackets all day. I can make a fit-and-flare dress or skirt. But I have to deal with my thighs, butt and waist in any way, I fail. This is serious disappointment. Half the point of sewing apparel for me is to get clothes I want but cannot buy because RTW cuts don’t remotely fit me.

I have always hated my legs. Even as a child I hated them. I seriously had cellulite and stretch marks on my thighs when I was 12. I have spent my entire life trying to deal with this. Even at my thinnest as an adult, my legs looked terrible. Now I have gained back some of that weight, and I think every fucking pound of it went to my legs and my ass.

This is a string of failures. I am also having problems with this graduate class I am taking. Work is boring. I can’t seem to lose weight. And our dinner party last night didn’t turn out well either.

Part of me knows that failure is inevitable when you try something new or hard. “Give yourself permission to suck,” I say to myself. Well, I suck all right. Everything sucks. I feel like I just need a good long cry, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I thought maybe if I wrote this – just put all the shit out there – it would release the floodgates.



Author: shoes15

I live in Connecticut, USA with my husband and my dog, in an old house outfitted with a sewing room, a garden, an orchard, and a big liquor cabinet.

13 thoughts on “Everything Sucks”

  1. I hear you, and am sorry it’s sucking right now!! ☹️ I hope it lets up soon. I sometimes find sewing extremely frustrating too—my own abilities, body, lack of time, etc. Try to remember to be kind to yourself in there, and step away if it’s not working. I’m almost finished my first pair of pants. They are going better than I EVER expected, but perhaps it’s because they have seams down the front and back, so I was able to make a bunch of tweaks along those extra seams? Tummy, high hip, flat butt, you name it! I’m using McCall’s 7098. Good luck. 🤜🏼🤛🏼


  2. I have just discovered your blog and really relate to a lot of your sewing and fitting issues; we all have an area of our bodies that give us grief don’t we (for me it is bust and upper belly, both middleage acquisitions). I was looking at the pic of you in that exquisite gathered skirt and wondered how anyone with that beautiful shape could have “body issues” and then I read on to trousers, now I understand.
    If I can point you in the direction of StyleArc patterns you may find trousers are no longer your nemesis (I really recommend them). Being in Oz, I buy mine printed by the manufacturer (although they are available in pdf from Etsy), there are no sizing issues for me and they have fitted me perfectly (apart from leg length because I am vertically challenged!). I have made three different pant styles and have yet to get a dud. Their website has a gallery of makes from women around the world of differing body shapes and sizes, so you can see if you like any of the looks.
    Everything sucks sometimes and I have found crying rarely makes me feel better, I just end up looking like Miss Piggy; walking the dog does wonders for my mood.
    PS- No I am not working for StyleArc!!!


  3. Thanks so much for the comments Jenn. Im happy to hear about Style Arc pants. I tried one of their blouses once, but the fit was so off that I haven’t tried anything else. Could you let me know which designs you think would work best for the heavy thigh and butt but small waist look?


  4. Blouses I avoid because of buttons and gaping and …and…and… I will have a loos at their website and get back to you. Most of the women I follow are like me- no waist, no bum (it maybe hard to fathom, but we envy you!!!).


  5. Thanks again for the StyleArc recommendation. I had a 20% off coupon so I went through the site and chose the Jasmine pants to try – they’re not very slim-fitting, they have a back yoke which might help and I really like the front angled pockets.


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